I’ve been taking a little mental health break from the blog for the past month, and I will probably continue to do so at least until January; however, I wanted to share this with you. I just couldn’t resist.

In the beginning of November, I had my first successful non-SCD experiment: Sprouted Wheat. Why sprouted wheat? Because I hate nut flour, and because my elimination diet showed that my body doesn’t tolerate nuts right now anyway; because I love bread; and because I have generally been without symptoms for long enough now that I was willing to try an excursion, an SCD excursion to be precise. I wanted to try it because sprouts (not SCD legal) are super-foods, and because, after 2.5 years without it, I wanted some bread dammit.

So my wife and I sprouted some wheat berries, dried them at low temperature, ground them into flour, and made a simple soda bread: (sprouted) wheat flour, water, salt, baking soda, and a squidge of honey. I made it like a flat bread, only about 1/2″ thick and cut it into squares. It’s great with homemade jam. I tried these bread squares with homemade jam for a week in the beginning of November and… Eureka! Turns out my body (including my sickly colon) loves sprouted wheat! I’ve been eating modest amounts of it for a month now with no adverse effects. So in celebration of my first non-SCD food victory, I have written a poem that I’d like to share with you. It’s both in celebration of my success with sprouted wheat, and a tribute to my favorite author. I’m sure you’ll be able to guess the author as you read the poem. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I call it “Bread Squares with Jam.”

 

Bread Squares with Jam

 

I am Flare.

 

I am Flare.

Flare I am.

 

That Flare-I-am!

That Flare-I-am!

I do not like that Flare-I-am.

 

Do you want bread squares with jam?

 

Excuse me?

 

Bread squares with jam;

Will you try them, Mr. Him?

 

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

I do not want bread squares with jam.

 

Do you want them

Here or there?

 

I do not want them

Here or there.

I do not want them anywhere.

I do not want bread squares with jam.

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

 

Do you want them

On a table?

Would you eat them

If you were able?

 

I do not want them

on a table.

Though, I might eat them

If I were able…

 

I might want them

here or there;

Hey! I might

want them anywhere.

 

Then try them!

Try them and

you will see.

 

Maybe…

 

No! I do not want bread squares with jam.

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

 

Say! Would you try them

with these pills?

Would you try them

with fewer ills?

 

Not on a table.

I might if I were able…

 

No! Not with pills;

Not with fewer ills.

I would not try them here or there.

I would not try them anywhere.

I would not eat bread squares with jam.

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

 

Would you? Could you?

as a sprout?

Eat them! Eat them!

Mr. Colonpout.

 

I would not,

could not,

as a sprout.

 

You may like them.

You will see.

Would you like them

in a tree?

 

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not as a sprout! You let me be.

 

I do not want them here.

I do not want them there.

I do not want them as a sprout.

My name is not Colonpout!

I do not want them on a table.

Though I might want them if I were able…

 

No! I do not want them with pills.

Flare! They’ll bring many ills.

I do not want bread squares with jam.

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

 

A mall! A mall!

A mall! A mall!

Could you, would you

in a mall?

Could you, would you

With Elaine Gottshcall?

 

With Elaine Gottschall?… Hmmm?

 

No, not in a mall! Not in a tree!

Not with pills! Flare, let me be!

I would not, could not, on a table.

I could not, would not; I’m not able!

I will not try them with pills.

I will not try them with fewer ills.

I do not want them as a sprout.

And my name is not Colonpout.

I will not try them here or there.

I will not try them anywhere.

I do not want them, Flare-I-am.

 

Say!

With yogurt?

Here, with yogurt!

Would you, could you, with yogurt?

 

I would not, could not,

with yogurt.

 

Would you, could you,

without pain?

 

I would not, could not, without pain.

Not with yogurt. Flare, I cannot eat your grain.

Not on a table. Not in a tree.

I do not want them, Flare, you see.

Not with pills. Not in a mall.

Not with fewer ills. Not even with Elaine Gottschall!

I will not try them here or there.

I will not try them anywhere!

 

You do not want

bread squares with jam?

 

I do not

want them,

Flare-I-am.

 

Could you, would you,

with an enzyme?

 

I would not,

could not.

with an enzyme!

 

Would you, could you,

if you had time?

 

I could not, would not, with an enzyme.

I will not, will not, if I have time.

I will not try them in a mall.

I will not try them at all.

Not with yogurt! Not as a sprout!

Not with Elaine! Don’t call me Colonpout!

 

I do not want them on a table.

Though, I might want them if I were able…

 

No! I cannot try them without pain.

I cannot try your jam with grain.

I do not want them here or there.

I do not want them anywhere!

 

I do not want

bread squares with jam!

I do not want them,

Flare-I-am.

 

You do not want them.

So you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may, I say.

 

Flare!

If you will let me be,

I will try them

And you will see.

 

***

Say!

I like bread squares with jam!

I do! I like them, Flare-I-am!

And I will eat them on a table!

And I will eat them; seems I’m able.

And I will eat them with your pills.

And with live yogurt. And with no ills!

And as a sprout. And in a tree.

They are so good, so good you see!

 

So I will eat your jam and grain.

And I will eat them without pain.

And I will eat them in a mall.

And I will eat them with Elaine Gottschall.

And I will eat them with an enzyme.

I will eat them. I’ll make the time.

And I will eat them here and there.

Say! I will eat them anywhere!

 

I do so like bread squares with jam!

Thank you! Thank you, Flare-I-am.

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Filed under: Diet • Life on the SCD • SCD

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